You can't herd cats.

That's a well-known truth. What many poultry farmers have discovered is that you can't herd chickens, either.

Pigs are no problem. Cattle are quite cooperative as well. But chickens? Not only will they not cross the road, they won't even cross the barnyard in an orderly fashion.

To deal with this difficulty, poultry farmers have had to pull out their checkbooks and hire specialized laborers called "chicken catchers." Their task is to run around inside chicken houses and grab, by hand, all the crazed chickens they can, and then stuff them into cages. According to The Wall Street Journal, these chicken catchers capture eight billion birds a year, and the toll is high on both chickens and their catchers: The birds get roughed up and the catchers get scratched and dirtied. Most catchers quit after a few months and head for better jobs - such as working in toxic waste dumps.

For years, engineers have tried to find an automated answer to the question of how best to catch chickens. One bright idea, an invention that seemed inspired at the time but just didn't work out, was the "chicken vacuum." Whoosh - suck 'em up! But now, after a period of intense research and development, it seems that the industry has finally come up with a winner.

It's called the PH2000.

This state-of-the-art mechanical chicken harvester can capture 150 birds per minute, rivaling the best work of eight skilled human chicken catchers. The PH2000 is a nine-ton contraption that looks like a combination airport baggage carousel and Army tank, and it employs a mechanical ramp, conveyor belt, chute and set of cages to capture chickens painlessly, without the panic that comes from being grabbed by a chicken catcher.

Poultry farmers love it, and even animal-rights groups approve, since the machine is so kind to the birds. The only problem is the price of the PH2000: A cool $200,000. That's not chicken feed. (Scott Kilman, "Poultry in Motion: With Invention, Chicken-Catching Goes High-Tech," The Wall Street Journal, June 4, 2003, A1)

Now it's true that most of us don't have to worry about catching chickens. The pieces of poultry we desire are easy enough to grab in the refrigerated section of our local Giant Food. But there are certainly some other pesky little critters in our lives that we have a very tough time capturing, controlling, and subduing.

They're called temptations. And we could really use a spiritual PH2000.

The problem with temptations is that they are so tough to grab, control, and cage. There is nothing wrong with eating food, for example, but we are easily tempted to overeat. I have a real problem with Double-Stuff Oreos. There is nothing evil about achievement in the marketplace, but we fall quickly into destructive ambition and self-gratification. There is nothing bad about trusting God, but we sometimes find ourselves crossing the line and putting God to the test.

Curse those little critters! Temptations are as frustrating as the fleet-footed fowls that can drive chicken catchers absolutely crazy.

Fortunately, Jesus gives us a lesson in controlling temptation in today's passage from Luke. He shows us how to control the lure of evil without resorting to anything fancy or high-tech, like a PH2000. For Jesus, subduing sin is all about relying on Scripture and refusing to put God to the test.

Look at chicken number one: The temptation to turn a rock into a loaf of rye bread (Luke 4:1-4). The devil knew what he was doing with this one, since he was well aware that Jesus was famished, and that God himself had provided bread for the hungry people of Israel. On top of this, Jesus was in the wilderness for forty days, and the Israelites were in the wilderness for forty years, so it all made perfect sense. It seemed that Jesus had every right to turn that stone into a loaf of nutritious bread. Or a bag of Double-Stuff Oreos.

But Jesus grabbed that flapping fowl and quickly caged it. "One does not live by bread alone," he said to Satan, remembering the guidance of Deuteronomy, " one does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord" (8:3). Jesus relied on the guidance of Scripture, not his stomach. He realized that his calling was to feed others, not himself. And he refused to draw on his divine power to perform a miracle that would serve only his own selfish interests.

We can follow the example of Jesus on this World Communion Sunday as we gather to celebrate the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper. Here's a sacrament that does not fill our stomachs with bread, but instead fills our hearts with the power and presence of the bread of life, Jesus Christ. It's a reminder to us that our health and wholeness requires more than just good eating habits and regular medical checkups -- to be truly healthy, we also need the bread from God " which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world" (John 6:33). This Communion bread reminds us that the risen Christ nourishes us in body, mind, and spirit. This bread reminds us that the Word of God is not just spoken, but it is also seen. When we see the bread of Communion, we are seeing a sign of the great and eternal truth that Jesus has sacrificed his body for us, and has allowed it to be broken on the cross for our forgiveness and everlasting salvation.

That kind of bread is so much more life-giving than a loaf of whole wheat from Safeway bakery. It's even more nourishing than a loaf rising up by miracle in the middle of the desert. Remember, says Jesus, "One does not live by bread alone."

Another chicken flapping around us is the temptation of putting God to the test. This is a bird that can do some real damage, because it looks so harmless - it looks like a fuzzy little chick just inviting you to put all your trust in God. The devil knew this, which is why he quoted Scripture as he released this bird into the barnyard, saying to Jesus that God would "command his angels concerning you, to protect you" (v. 10). That's a lovely thought, and one we want desperately to hold onto - the belief that God will protect us, bear us up, shield us and save us, as we face the many dangers of day-to-day life.

There's just one little hitch. Satan invited Jesus to take a leap of faith off the temple pinnacle, and Jesus said NO. Jesus certainly believed that God would protect him, but he refused to put God to the test. For us today, this means we don't test God's constant care by driving down Interstate 95 at 110 miles per hour, or showing up for exams without studying, or abusing drink or drugs, or engaging in promiscuous sex. It's not a sign of sincere faith to behave in self-destructive ways and then expect God to save our skin.

Do not put the Lord your God to the test. That's the technique that Jesus used to put this chicken in its cage, and it's an approach that he recommends to us as well.

In the end, it may be true that cats will never be herded, and chickens will remain horribly hard to handle without a PH2000. But for those who want to manage temptation, there is no better approach than relying on Scripture and
refusing to put God to the test.

Temptations may flap around, but they can't control you if you cage them. Amen.

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