Look out over your congregation this month, and I predict you'll see more women in attendance than men. Even on Father's Day.

Church growth expert Lyle Schaller observes that in 1952, the typical Protestant worship service drew an adult congregation that was 53 percent female and 47 percent male. By 1986, the female proportion was closer to 60 percent, and the men down to 40; in many congregations the split was even wider. These losses continued through the 1990s, and a 2002 survey of more than 300,000 worshipers in more than 2,000 congregations found that Catholic services are now 65 percent female, mainline Protestant services 64 percent female and conservative Protestantservices 61 percent female.

"Faith of our fathers, holy faith!" goes the classic hymn, "We will be true to thee till death." Seems that a good number of men have found an escape clause in the "till death" portion of this hymn.

So what's going on here? In recent months, it has become clear to me that men are looking for a different church experience than women are. "Men are prone to 'do' community, while women are comfortable with 'being' community," says my friend Dan Napolitano, a Roman Catholic layman in Maryland who wishes that churches were "more focused on activities that engage men in reflection through purposeful activity.

"I'm discovering that the key to engaging men in the life of my church is not to ask less of them and make them more comfortable -- it's to ask more of them and maybe even make them uncomfortable. In October 2004, and then again in the fall of 2005, I was part of a group of middle-aged men who traveled to Honduras to help build a church camp for children. We started work as early as 6:30 a.m. and often labored until 6 at night -- digging postholes, pouring concrete, carrying cinder blocks and lifting steel beams. One participant, Phil Beauchene, joked that you couldn't pay him enough to do that kind of work in the United States, but in Honduras he was doing it for free and loving it. In the evening, we would return to our hotel for cleanup and dinner, followed by a time of Bible study and reflection.

Energized by the work we were doing, we came out of the week feeling closer to God and to each other. I'm convinced the trip was successful because it was physically challenging, task-orientedand far from home. Our focus was sharpened by the fact that we were cut off from telephones, email and the endless demands of the office. It also had an impact because it required each man to sacrifice a week of vacation and $1,500 for airfare, food, lodging and construction supplies.

Gone are the days when men and women attended church out of a feeling of community obligation or the belief that everlasting salvation depended on Sunday morning attendance. To draw members today, churches have to create opportunities that meet people's personal needs -- including action-oriented experiences that appeal to male sensibilities. In addition to overseas mission projects, I'm now seeing a number of gatherings and retreats that pull guys away from their day-to-day routines, and challenge them to renew their commitments and deepen their spiritual lives. The men of our presbytery are invited to attend the Presbyterian Men 2006 Conference at Massanetta Springs, July 14-16, 2006. Information is available at www.midatlanticmen.org.

The challenge is to balance feminine and masculine approaches -- lifting up the importance of "being community" through personal connections, but also stressing the need to "do community" by achieving specific goals and objectives. It will take such a range of opportunities to re-ignite the faith of our fathers, and get men back in church.

 

Find this article at:NCP Monthly June 2006

web: http://www.thepresbytery.org

Author's e-mail: henry@fairfaxpresby.com

Link to Henry Brinton's USA Today & Washington Post Articles Index Page

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